Gah. Ideas. Who’s got a brilliant idea anyway? Better to flip over to Facebook or make a nice hot cup . . . → Read More: Writer versus …]]> There you sit, my writer duckling, staring at your blank screen, the cursor mocking you as it blinks slowly in the upper left corner waiting for you to type your first brilliant sentence. Waiting. Blinking. Waiting. Blinking.

Gah. Ideas. Who’s got a brilliant idea anyway? Better to flip over to Facebook or make a nice hot cup of tea…

But then the next time you sit down to write, that cursor is still there. Patiently blinking.

Instead of reaching for Castleville (my current addiction of choice) the next time you face the blank screen, consider the type of conflict you enjoy reading about and see what ideas that generates.

Types of Conflict
Sir Arthur Thomas Quiller-Couch once classified plots into seven basic categories: Man against Man; Man against Nature; Man against Himself; Man against God; Man against Society; Man caught in the Middle; and Man and Woman.

By the time I learned about conflict, these seven ideas had dropped down to six. Doing random Internet searches, I found these conflicts dropped down again to four or five. Regardless of the absolute number, the categories alone are often enough to start generating ideas.

Character vs. Character
In this type of conflict, Character A–let’s call him Ted–really wants Foo, but Character B–let’s call her Angela–really, really doesn’t want Ted to get Foo. Angela is directly between Ted and his goals. Conflict.

Graceling has a Character vs. Character element to it (it also has a Character vs. Destiny element). Katsa’s uncle has planned her career and life for her, a life she finds she no longer wants. She has to fight her uncle to get the life she wants.

Character vs. Nature
Nature, the environment, the elements, forces of nature, whatever you want to call it, these are all against Ted (poor Ted). Whatever Ted wants, he can’t get it because Nature herself is against him.

Hatchet by Gary Paulson is an excellent example of Character vs. Nature. When Brian’s plane crashes in the Canadian wilderness, he has no hope of rescue and he must figure out a way to survive against the elements until rescue comes.

Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell is another Character vs. Nature novel. (And, frankly, any children’s novel still in print after 50 years deserves a read.)

Character vs. Self
Here, Angela is battling her own inner demons to get what she wants. The only thing standing between her and Foo is herself.

Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson is a great (creepy) example of Character vs. Self. Lia struggles with anorexia and self-worth and guilt, much of it self-imposed. She has to accept her own worth before she can begin healing.

Other examples of Character vs. Self include Just Listen by Sarah Dessen and If I Stay by Gayle Forman.

Character vs. Society
In a Character vs. Society conflict, Ted is fighting against the manmade society around him.

The Hunger Games is a Character vs. Society novel. Katniss only wants to survive The Hunger Games, but she must fight her society to do so (across all three books).

Feed by M.T. Anderson and Unwind by Neal Shusterman are both examples of Character vs. Society (and, at the risk of being too categorical, dystopic fiction in general has a Character vs. Society conflict).

Character vs. Destiny/Fate
Angela really wants Foo, but she is fated to not get it. This fate was determined without her knowledge or consent, and in order to get Foo, she must fight her destiny.

Impossible by Nancy Werlin is absolutely a Character vs. Destiny novel. Lucy discovers she is part of an ancient curse that will enslave her and drive her to madness unless she can destroy the curse by completing three impossible tasks.

Going Bovine by Libba Bray, Wake by Lisa McMann, and the Harry Potter series (Harry must kill Voldemort) are all Character vs. Destiny novels.

What to do with Conflict?
Take a look at the last few books you’ve read. Which were most interesting to you? Which did you find most compelling? What type of conflict presented in the novel?

Use that conflict type and come up with a story idea using “What if?” questions.

Say the type of conflict that appeals most to you is Character vs. Destiny. What if… what if a girl wants to go to college to be a vet, but her family is from India and have arranged a marriage for her, and her future husband wants her to be a homemaker?(If you’re not Indian, you’ll have some research to do to make this work…).

Now, start writing. 15 minutes without stopping. You aren’t looking for good prose right now; you’re looking for an idea that will generate other ideas. Keep asking what if: what destiny is before your potential main character? What will she have to do to defeat or change that destiny? What other factors will stand in her way?

Next time you’re staring at your blank computer screen, give What if? and a particular conflict type a shot. Your next novel may lie in the answers.

Voice distinctly identifies you as a writer . . . → Read More: Voice]]> Voice is that ineffable quality agents and editors are looking for. They may not be able to describe it or tell you how to put it in your manuscript, but they know instantly when voice is missing or mundane and are quick to hand out rejections based on that lack.

Voice distinctly identifies you as a writer and your books as having been written only by you. It is a gestalt of all the writerly choices you get to make, including point of view, word choice, sentence structure, verb tense, all of it. It can be thought of as the actual “voice” you may hear in your head when you read a book.

Take these three random examples (two books I’m reading right now; the third I knew had a voice different than the others. And for the record, I purchased all the books).

Example 1

I’d explained where we were going when we had started out. The vampire had said nothing, but then he often said nothing, and he hadn’t disagreed. I had the knife-key in my bra; we’d either find him a nice deep patch of shadow while I did my trick again, or he could keep his hands on my shoulders to maintain the Sun Screen Factor: Absolute Plus.

Sunshine, Robin McKinley, page 75 (paperback edition)

Example 2

Taggart glanced at Boyle and smiled; the smile was pointed, it seemed to say that something in his words was an answer to something in the words of Boyle. “The liquor they serve here is swill. I suppose that’s the price we have to pay for not being crowded by all kinds of rabble. But I do wish they’d recognize that they’re dealing with experts. Since I hold the purse strings, I expect to get my money’s worth and at my pleasure.”

Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand, Location 1242 (Kindle edition)

Example 3

His dreams grow constant and terrible.

He doesn’t wake easily.

As his body fades, the pull of his dreams grows eerily stronger. Now, if his door is open, Janie can’t enter that wing.

She hadn’t planned for this.

She makes an odd request on every shift. “If you cover the east wing, I’ll take the rest.”

Wake, Lisa McMann, Location 414 (Kindle edition)

In Example 1, McKinley’s voice is conversational, sarcastic, a bit long-winded with those long sentences with lots of subordinate clauses.

Rand’s voice is much more formal, literate while McMann’s voice is almost a polar opposite to Rand’s. McMann uses short crisp sentences and simple word choices.

If you read any of these authors and then pick up another book, you’ll know immediately it was written by someone else. That’s voice.

Voice includes

• Word choice: do you use high-falutin’ words or plain? Voice is included in the distinction between crimson and red, avaricious or greedy, and somnambulant and sleep-walking. Do you use slang? Curses?
• Sentence structure: Fragments and short crisp sentences like McMann? Long literary sentences like Rand? Parenthetical asides like McKinley?
• Point of view: first person, third person. Limited, tight, or omniscient?
• Verb tense: past or present tense?
• Verb “voice”: passive or active?
• Dialog: do you use it? How often?
• Addressing the reader: some writers do (McKinley is one), others don’t.

So, if voice is so important, how do you develop it?

Practice, of course, but as The Boy’s basketball coach once said, “Perfect practice makes practice perfect.” In other words, if you practice crap, you’ll never get any better. So, what do you practice?

Practice outracing your inner critic. So long as someone is censoring your words, you’ll never tune in to your own natural voice. You’ll keep second-guessing yourself and stop digging deep into your creative well to say what you really want to say.

Practice someone else’s voice. Read 50 to 100 pages of your favorite author (or any of the three here). Then sit down, set a timer, and writer for 15 minutes in the same voice. Need a prompt? Write whatever comes to mind using these three words:

FAIL       BALL      BLANKET

Write anything at all, so long as you don’t stop to criticize yourself. See what feels right and what feels wrong writing in someone else’s style.

Then do the exercise again with a different author. Then do it again. As you copy other writers’ voices, you start to learn what feels right for you. You may find McMann’s fragments feel right to you. You may enjoy the literary style of Rand. You may love writing directly to your audience the way McKinley does. You may find Stephen King to be closer to your style.

Finding your voice is a bit about experimentation so plan on failing for a while before you pinpoint exactly what feels right for you (and what your critique partners tell you is real improvement and originality).

If you have a favorite author, consider commenting below what about that author’s style you love. A comment below is an entry in Jennifer Shaw Wolf’s Critique Contest.

Or do you need to know what NaNoWriMo is? Chances are good if you’re reading a writing blog . . . → Read More: NaNoWriMo!]]> It’s November 15. If you’re participating in National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, you should have 25,000 words written down by now with a plan in place for writing 25,000 more. Do you? Or do you need some motivation?

Or do you need to know what NaNoWriMo is? Chances are good if you’re reading a writing blog you know all about NaNo, but just in case, here you go: During the month of November, thousands (hundreds of thousands?) of writers hunch over their keyboards (or paper?) and furiously type (scribble?) away. Their goal? A novel. A short novel of 50,000 words (less if you’ve signed up for the young writers program). In order to get 50,000 words completed in 30 days, you’ve got to write 2000 words every weekday or 1667 every single day.

It can take a writer anywhere from forty minutes to all damn day to write those 2000 words. And then that writer has to go back the next day and the next day and the next for all 30 days of November. Why the heck would a writer want to do this anyway?

Lots of reasons:

• Habit building. It may take anywhere from six days to 66 days to form a habit. Regardless of how many days psych experts think, if you sit down and write 2000 words every weekday, you and your brain will start to sense the import of this writing thing, and you’ll start to make more room for it in your day.
• Support. With folks nationwide (globally?) all writing to the same goal, you’ll find lots and lots of support for this writing thing from daily writing prompts on various writer’s websites to write-ins and local independent bookstores. In addition, while you don’t “win” anything, many vendors offer coupons and discounts for completing the challenge.
• Outrace your internal critic. By committing to write daily for 30 days, WITHOUT revising, you have the opportunity to outrace your internal critic. You don’t have time to revise your first paragraph 47 times. You don’t have time to wonder whether the correct word for your sentence is “perspicacious” or “acute” or “smart.” Heck, you just write down all three (word count!) and move on.
• Something to revise. You can’t revise your writing if you’ve got nothing written down. I firmly believe the best writing happens through revising. Once you’ve got 50,000 words written down, you’re ready to improve what you have and keep moving forward.

So, if you’ve been working on your NaNo goal, go ahead and post your word count here. We’ll cheer you on. (Plus, it’s an easy way to get an entry into the Critique Contest Jennifer Shaw Wolf is sponsoring!)

If you haven’t been working on NaNo, there’s no reason not to start right now. Make your goal 25,000 words in 15 days. Set a goal to write for 15 minutes every day. Set a goal to write, right now. And then post it. We’ll offer encouragement.

And for all of you, good luck!

What do you get? A critique of up to 15 pages (about 3800 words) by our very own critique group: IMO (In My Opinion). We meet at the Barnes and Noble in Issaquah (during the work . . . → Read More: Critique Contest!]]> My friend, critique partner, one-time client, and debut author Jennifer Shaw Wolf is offering a  critique contest on her blog Wolf Tales.

What do you get?
A critique of up to 15 pages (about 3800 words) by our very own critique group: IMO (In My Opinion). We meet at the Barnes and Noble in Issaquah (during the work day; 10:00 AM to 1:00 PM) so if you’re local (or willing to drive!), you’ll even be invited to join us while we talk about your pages. (Jen has offered to buy the winner a warm drink to cushion the blow.)

How do you enter? Post comments! Post a comment on any of our critique group member blog entries. Become a follower of any of our blogs. Jennifer will enter your name in her drawing each and every time you comment on one of our blogs or “follow” them. I believe you can even tweet something and get another entry in the drawing. The drawing will be December 6^th for a critique to take place in January.

Why would you want to? Well, if you’ve never been in a critique group or had your work looked at, this is a great opportunity to see what a critique group can do for you in addition to getting ideas for how to improve your writing. If you’ve ever been in a critique group that made you feel bad about your work (or worse, yourself), this is a great opportunity to see a supportive group that’s been working with each other for the past three years or so.

Want more details? Check out all the rules at Jen’s blog post describing the contest. Jen also gives you some background on each of us and a few rules about what material we’re willing to handle.

Want the list of blogs?

• Jennifer Shaw Wolf, Wolf Tales
• Blessy Mathew, Reflecting Runes
• Sarah Showell, The Showell Update
• And of course, mine. Val Serdy, Egg and Feather

In order to make things more fun and interesting, I’ll be posting more, if shorter, entries to give you lots more opportunities for entries. And I’ll be looking at dates of comments, not dates of posts, so comments on older posts count as well.

Good luck!

I first read North of Beautiful back after I heard Justina Chen Headley speak at a SCBWI writers conference. She was lively and local (to me in the Seattle area) so I thought I should give her book . . . → Read More: Book 889: North of Beautiful]]> Remember that whole read a thousand books, then write one idea? Well, we’re on book 889 of that plan.

I first read North of Beautiful back after I heard Justina Chen Headley speak at a SCBWI writers conference. She was lively and local (to me in the Seattle area) so I thought I should give her book a go.

Whoa. I loved it. Really. And I read a lot of books for a lot of reasons; I don’t expect to love anything anymore—I just want to learn.

But I loved NoB and knew I wanted to write about it—eventually. But as life ground on, I completely forgot about the book, until a mentee asked me to review an article she was writing about the use of theme in How to Train Your Dragon. Reading her article, I knew she wasn’t referring to theme, but something else. I just
couldn’t put my finger on the something else.

Then I read Laurie Halse Anderson’s Twisted. In Twisted, Tyler, the main character, is sent to in-school suspension. There, his English teacher reviews symbolism, motif, and theme. I was a little ticked at LHA for not telling us readers the difference but, well, she wasn’t writing an English textbook. It did lead me to Wikipedia and a few other sources (come on! I’m a (relatively) responsible researcher) to look up the differences and that taught me about
NoB.

Justina Chen Headley is a master of motif.

Title: North of Beautiful
Author: Justina Chen Headley
Publishing Info: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, February 2010 (Reprint)
Pages: 384 (hardcover)
Genre: YA, Romance
Review Copy: Purchased from University Bookstore

Motif?

According to Wikipedia (OK, sometimes I’m just a lazy researcher), motif is “any recurring element that has symbolic significance in a story. Through its repetition, a motif can help produce other narrative (or literary) aspects such as theme or mood.”

JCH’s use of maps and mapping terminology is consistent, constant, and clearly helps build on the narrative’s themes (of finding and accepting yourself).

The book’s cover includes a compass rose, and the title is “North” of Beautiful. I don’t usually include cover and title when learning about books because often the author has no or little say in these things.

What the author definitively has a say in are the parts and chapter titles. The book’s  structure continues to follow map-making terminology: the three parts are titled “Terra Nullis” (null earth, Latin), “Terra Incognita” (unknown or untested earth), and “Terra Firma.” The theme of each part reflects the part’s chapter. In “Terra Nullis,” Terra feels awkward, hating her face (she has a port wine stain) and herself. She is unsure of her future, her relationship with her parents, and her art. She feels like she is nothing. In “Terra  Incognita,” Terra starts exploring her options, working on her art, trying a new surgery. Her trials at becoming a self-confident independent young woman are random stabs in the dark, unknown and untested. In the third part, “Terra Firma”, Terra’s journey solidifies as she grows into herself.

JCH keeps the motifs going with the book’s chapters titles. Titles include “The Topography of Guilt” (topography is the study of the surface of the earth), “Here be Dragons” (in reference to dragons old mapmakers drew in the margins where unknown lands lay), “Dead Reckoning” (the process of calculating your current position by using a previously determined position), and “Orientation.” While each chapter references some aspect of mapmaking, the chapter titles are not random. In “Orientation,” Terra and Jacob meet; they swap stories, learning about each other and their current journeys (they meet in Leavenworth—which really is as JCH describes it. Went there just this summer—halfway to their final destinations). Additionally in this chapter, Jacob, as a Chinese Goth with a scar from a cleft palate surgery, shows (orients) Terra to another way to deal with the stares she receives because of her port wine stain.

It keeps going. The use of mapmaking as motif continues with the character names: Terra (earth) and Terra’s brothers–Mercator and Claudius. (As a side note, I first learned about the Mercatur mapping system on The West Wing.)

JCH uses mapping as subplots in the book as well. Terra’s father is a disgraced cartographer. Jacob introduces her to geocaching (a “sport” where you try to find “treasure” caches using GPS coordinates. If you have a smart-phone, there’s an app for that. The Boy and I have found a dozen or so caches so far and have introduced a whole mess of other kids to the adventure. If it hadn’t been for JCH, I’d never have known about it!). Terra’s aunt leaves one of Terra’s father’s challenged maps in pieces as a cache “treasure.” JCH, through Terra, uses maps as metaphors for Terra’s feelings.

“But all maps lie. … even the best maps distort the truth…Greenland balloons; Africa stretches.” Page 4

“But Erik was at my side like a lost adventurer chasing the North Star.” Page 20

“Unlike his cartographic namesake, Geradus Mercatur, Merc wasn’t just laying down lines for lands that had already been discovered, transferring a globe into a flat map. He was seeing the world.” Page 41

It goes on, throughout the book, instances of mapmaking changing lives; mapping terminology describing Terra’s thoughts and feelings; mapping as an activity to provide background for the characters.

Because mapping is used so heavily throughout the book, and it is tied so closely to the theme (you need a map to find something, even if it’s yourself), motif can easily be confused with theme. The two may overlap, and motif can be used to build theme, but motif is separate: a subset of theme.

I can’t help but think this use of motif would make a good story idea generator. Figure out your hobbies—knitting, horseback riding, sailing—anything with its own language. How can you use the language of your chosen hobby to show—anything. Then build a plot around that.

Regardless, when you’re ready to add another layer to your novel through revision, scan for any powerful images you’ve already used and see if you can’t repeat those images, even just two or three times, to build up your theme. And read North of Beautiful to see how a master does it.

Bonus! A few characters from JCH’s Girl Overboard make a cameo appearance here.

Pet Peeve: Justina (can I call her Justina when I’ve only heard her speak and read her books? Or is that like stalking?) totally used the naked spa in her book before I could. Pout.

Reviews:

I don’t do reviews; I see no reason to bash a book after it’s been published—there’s no way to fix it—and I firmly believe you can learn from every book you read, including that one you hated and tossed across the room before finishing—even if you only learn what you don’t want to write. But for those of you who enjoy book reviews, I try to include a few here. I usually try to include a balanced list, but some books are harder than others to find negative reviews. NoB is one of those.

• The Compulsive Reader, “Justina Chen Headley’s North of Beautiful embodies beauty. Her keen insights and smooth, seamless style are a complete joy to read.”
• Lucid Conspiracy, “Justina Chen Headley’s North of Beautiful is just beautiful, pure and simple. The plot, the characters, the themes… all these seperate aspects come together to form the perfect collage of a story.”
• Book Addiction, “Going into North of Beautiful, I assumed it would be a decent YA book, but nothing special – great characters, an interesting plot, and good writing – a book that I would like but not love. Well, I was way wrong about that. This book was beyond fantastic. And I LOVED it. North of Beautiful got to me, it really did.”

While I was taking the summer off, it seems both my business (Egg and Feather, LLC) and my blog (wwweggandfeather.com) turned one year old.

I didn’t even get a cake.

I did get a few stats. I ended the year with:

How did it happen? Well, I had planned to work, but a small (OK, medium-sized) child invaded my space with demands for snack and ice cream truck money and rides to friends’ . . . → Read More: Abject Apologies]]> It seems I took the summer off. I didn’t intend to, it just happened, but I really should have warned folks before disappearing like that.

How did it happen? Well, I had planned to work, but a small (OK, medium-sized) child invaded my space with demands for snack and ice cream truck money and rides to friends’ houses and trips to here and trips to there and snacks and… wait… I mentioned snacks already.

What did I do with the medium-sized child in my space instead of working here for you, Gentle Readers? I reviewed third-grade math facts with The Boy; complained about The Boy’s teacher and school to anyone who would listen, and to anyone who would read (on Facebook, of course); offended a zillion people by complaining; and then apologized to anyone who was still talking to me for being offensive.

Then, The Boy and I made freezer jam and homemade ice cream and rock candy lollipops. We had a garage sale and a lemonade stand (but we weren’t arrested for it). I supervised a water balloon fight and a Nerf war. We went to the local farmers market, Remlinger Farms for the rides, Snoqualmie Falls for the rocks, the Fremont Troll for the climbing, Theo’s chocolates for the free tastings on the tour, the International Fountain for the water fun, the Issaquah Hatchery for the salmon (too soon!), and the Seattle Aquarium for the fish. We visited local parks, watched a movie or two, taught our friends geocaching, played putt-putt, and even took a weekend trip to Leavenworth. The g-parents visited us and rounded out the summer with a trip on the Ice Cream Ferry.

In addition to the fun stuff, we dealt with a pinky toe that got dislocated and relocated and bruised The Boy’s entire foot in the process and an infection when The Boy slid down the steep concrete sides of the International Fountain on the top of his foot and skived a half-dollar sized chunk out of his skin). And we dealt with a raging case of eczema (turns out The Boy’s skin is oh-so-sensitive).

In the spare moments, I met Joni Sensel, read some of her work (and even wrote about it), and sadly said, “So long for now” when she decided our critique group was not for her. I made some small progress on my novel, met a new high school student to mentor on her memoir, supervised the library’s Teen Writers Group, and started mapping my novel’s rises and falls and rises again to circle in closer to the moving target that is my ending.

I’m rested and ready. Or cocked, locked, and ready to rock.

Ready to start by apologizing for not writing—and not warning folks I wouldn’t be writing. How rude.

If you’re still with me, look forward to some future articles on my future plans with this blog; verb tenses and how to use them consistently (and why it’s necessary), and North  of Beautiful’s use of motif. Also keep an eye out for discount offers. I’ll post those to  Egg and Feather’s Facebook page a few months before major writing conferences.

In the meantime, should you be planning a trip to the Seattle area, check out those links! We’ve got so much to do you might forget to write too!

Why did I read this book? It’s been on my list for a while; couldn’t tell you why anymore. I put books . . . → Read More: Book 990: The Farwalker’s Quest]]> Title: The Farwalker’s Quest
Author: Joni Sensel
Publishing Info: Bloomsbury USA Children’s (February 2010)
Pages: 372 (hardcover)
Genre: Fantasy, Middle Grade (young YA)
Awards: 2009 Cybils Award Finalist, Bank Street College 2010 “Best Book”
Review Copy: Hardcover copy checked out from KCLS

Why did I read this book?
It’s been on my list for a while; couldn’t tell you why anymore. I put books on The List anytime someone suggests it for any reason. Then I usually lose The List (I actually have several Lists in a bazillion different locations) and forget about that book until someone else mentions it. Then the light bulb goes off and I seek it out.

In this instance, Joni (pronounced Johnny) herself switched on the light bulb. We have a gap in our writing/critique group so we sent out a call to our local chapter of SCBWI (pronounced skib-wee; really. Ask Jon Scieszka (rhymes with Fresca)) to help us fill it. Joni asked to sit in on a meeting to see if we’re a good fit. (Critique groups can sometimes act as therapist/spouse/best friend so you want that relationship to be nurturing/kind/ass-kicking as appropriate. It’s good to visit a few different groups a few different times to see how they work before committing. I’ll write something up on picking a critique group after Joni picks her next one and I’ll use her experience as fodder… Just saying. Use everything.)

Anyway, I squee’d with joy and fear (writer’s self-esteem kicking in. How can we help a real live published author?!) then gave her our standard introduction and thought maybe I better go read her book!

Just so you don’t think I’m gushing (tho I sort of am; I enjoyed this book considerably), I had not met Joni nor read any of her work before I started reading FARWALKER.

And what did I learn from it?
Worldbuilding. I harp on it because it is so very important. When a reader cracks open a book, especially if they’ve pulled it from the Fantasy/Science Fiction shelf, they have no idea what they’ve opened up. There are the basic questions: who is the book about? Age, name, gender? Then there are the more complicated questions: what is this world like, how does it differ from our own, and how does it affect the main character?

When I was a youngster working for $3.35 an hour (that was minimum wage in Missouri). You can do the research to find out just how old that makes me), I had two strict rules. 1) I would not pay more than a penny a page for a book. If the book cost $3.99 and was less than 350 pages, it was a no-go. 2) I would give every book 50 pages to suck me in and teach me about its world before I gave up on it. I read fantasy pretty exclusively back then, so it was like jumping into a whole new world every time I switched series.

Given that 50 page rule, let me show you what Joni shows us of her world in her first few pages.

Single-word Worldbuilding
When I critique writers, I often ask for adjectives to help set us in a certain time and place. In her first chapter, Joni uses a few well-placed adjectives to set up a preindustrial, possibly subsistence-living, village.

“Their catch wiggled in the wood bucket…” [emphasis added], page 3

Wood buckets tell us this society does not have a supply of cheap metal. Wood is more plentiful and cheaper to shape than metal for these people.

“Zeke watched his goat-leather boots…”, page 3

Goat-leather boots tell us this group is on marginal land—not enough pasturage for raising cattle. Goats imply a rocky area. And given that the boots are leather, on a child (Zeke is 12), that implies the goats are relatively cheap/plentiful (as opposed to today where real leather goods tend to be expensive compared to synthetic counterparts).

“Together they’d trapped classmates in the outhouse…”, page 5

“lowered each other into the village well”, page 5

Outhouse and well imply no indoor plumbing.

“Her mother had given up on insisting on skirts…Ariel wore mostly wool trousers and sweaters.”, page 7

Skirts shows us girls are expected to dress differently than boys. That Ariel doesn’t shows us it’s not horrific if she goes against the culture. Wool trousers and sweaters can come from the already mentioned goats . Each piece of clothing can be handmade. Keeping with the preindustrial/subsistence theme.

“beyond that were thatched and tiled roofs” page 11

Thatch for the poorer homes; tile for the more well-off ones.

Character Name Worldbuilding
Sometimes a name is just a name, but sometimes it tells us about a world’s culture. In Joni’s first chapter, we learn of Luna Healtouch, Ariel Healtouch, Fisher, Reaper, and Tree-Singer. We also learn a bit about how those names are given:

“’But Namingfest is only three days away!’”, page 3

“He couldn’t say he might fail.”, page 3

“both of Zeke’s brothers had settled for more ordinary trades”, page 4

“She would turn thirteen later that summer, so at Namingfest in a few days she could apprentice herself to a Fisher or Reaper. But the easiest course would simply be to learn from her mother [Luna Healtouch]”, page 5

“Several [symbols] she recognized as the signs of a trade: the Windmaster’s, the Tree-Singer’s, and of course the [symbol] that marked the home of a Healtouch.”, page 12

With these phrases, we learn that a person’s last name is also their occupation, their trade. We learn that when children are about to turn 13, they are apprenticed in a particular trade and that is when they are given their last names. Through some of Zeke’s comments, we also learn there is some anxiety and uncertainty, and perhaps some kind of test, involved in choosing a trade.

This all shows us the entire culture is involved in training up the next generation to work. Children are not given the opportunity to continue their broad education, nor do they seem to choose a craft for the sake of the craft itself (art or music). Children are apprenticed to something that will earn them a place in the village, and while they have some say in what they are apprenticed to, not all of them succeed in their first choice.

Magic
Some fantasy has magic, some doesn’t. Which story are you reading? Unless it explicitly says on the blurb you happened to read, you won’t know until the author shows it to you. Joni sets up magic in the very first sentence and runs from there.

(And remember the quotation that any science not understood looks like magic…)

“Zeke’s tree wouldn’t speak to him.”, page 3

“A Tree-Singer could be the most important person in the village. Hearing the voices of trees and coaxing them to share their great wisdom took special talent”, page 4

“Unlike tree-singing and the more mystical trades, most of the healing skills could be taught.”, page 5 [emphasis added]

“With a sudden insight that both her mother [a Healtouch] and Zeke’s father [the Tree-Singer for the village] would have recognized from their work”, page 7

“She’d envied his talent [Zeke’s ability to talk with trees], since she seemed to have none of her own.”, page 8

“In fact, Ariel had the strangest sense that the tree wanted to be climbed.”, page 10

“’I hear her!’ [Zeke says]”, page 11

“’I didn’t think anyone still knew how to send them’ [Zeke says]”, page 13

“’I thought telling darts were supposed to find the people they were sent to, [Ariel says]’”, page 13

“Before her eyes, the tree reached to catch him”, page 14

From all these bits and pieces, we learn that there is a kind of magic in this world and that some of it relates to talking to trees (and hearing what they have to say back. That the darts are supposed to find a particular person also smacks of magic.

History
And finally, let’s talk about history. Unless your world is new-minted (like Narnia in The Magician’s Nephew) it will have a history. (Altho, come to think of it, even new-minted Narnia has a history.) That history can give your world a richer feel, less made up/more real, or it can provide conflict for your current characters (those who don’t learn their own history will continue to step in it…).

In the first chapter alone, Joni already starts laying in her world’s history.

“Maybe Zeke’s tree, grateful, would share an old secret, like where to find gemstones or the legendary treasures locked away in the Vault.”, page 5

“Ariel had never seen a telling dart, but she had heard plenty of stories.”, page 11

“’I didn’t think you could still find stuff like this anymore,’ she [Ariel] said. Darts that could talk were only one of the marvels lost after the Blind War and now known only in legend.”, page 12

Already we learn of some type of major historical event that changed this world and that something from before that event has come to affect Ariel and Zeke. Conflict set up through worldbuilding.

And so you know…
That worldbuilding stuff is really important. It fixes the reader in a particular world, time, place, and technology/science/magic level. It provides interest in your story, like frosting on a cake, making the story-cake that much more interesting/tasty. (My metaphor is only kind of working here.) And finally, worldbuilding can provide the conflict for your story. (I once took an online class with Holly Lisle who created a three-book fantasy series after drawing a map and creating the world that created the map. Worldbuilding in a very literal way.)

Reviews

• Becky’s Book Reviews: a positive look at The Farwalker’s Quest
• Eva’s Book Addiction: a negative look at the worldbuilding
• Kids Read: positive

Names If you’re working on a young adult novel, and all your girl characters are named Jenny, Michelle, and Lisa, you might be pushing 40.

I read an article ages ago, and if I could remember anything else about it, I would add the link, but one . . . → Read More: How to: Write for teens. Not you.]]> Actually, it’s more how to NOT write for teens. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy.

Names
If you’re working on a young adult novel, and all your girl characters are named Jenny, Michelle, and Lisa, you might be pushing 40.

I read an article ages ago, and if I could remember anything else about it, I would add the link, but one pet peeve of agents is writers using names common when the writers were young. Girls’ names especially change with the times and if you want your novel to feel relevant to today’s teen readers, pick names they’ll be familiar with. For the record, the top three names for girls born in 1995–girls who would be 16 today–are Jessica, Ashley, and Emily.

(The top 3 boys’ names in 1972 were Michael, Christopher, and James. In 1995, Michael, Matthew, and Christopher. In general, you have much more leeway with boys’ names and trends than you do with girls’ names.)

Hit the Social Security database for the top American baby names by year; the records go back to 1879 so this is a useful tool for historical fiction writers, too. (I don’t know how names change for other countries, so do your research if you are setting a story in India or Norway.)

Clothing
If the teen boys in your novel are wearing acid washed jeans with the hems tight rolled up (pegged) and neon hats, you might be pushing 40.

You don’t want to dress your characters too trendy; arguably, unless you’re writing a historical fiction novel and you want to really push the “sign of the times,” you’ll want to avoid major fashion trends at all. Anything too trendy dates your novel and makes it harder for teens even five years down the road to enjoy your novel.

But your characters still need to wear something. If your character is a supremely current fashionista, do some online browsing at stores like Abercrombie, Gap, and The Limited to see what trends are being sold to kids these days. If your characters have to go shopping, hit the mall to see which stores are actually in the area of your novel (The Limited doesn’t have any stores in Montana, for example). Please, please, check which stores are still in business and have been for a while so you don’t try sending your kids to Merry-Go-Round.

Also, lurk at stores likely to frequent teens: Taco Bell, perhaps? And look at what they’re actually wearing. Most grown women don’t wear the trends coming off the fashion runways. Most teens don’t either.

Slang
If your characters use the phrase “Right is wrong” and they aren’t referring to politics, you might be pushing 40. If your characters yell “Sike!” or “Not!” after a sentence, you might be pushing 40.

Teens use slang and you want your dialog to reflect that but stay away from anything too “of the moment.” While you’re in that Taco Bell watching what teens are wearing, listen to what they are saying. Catch the rhythm of it and note where they insert slang and even which words they use. Some words have been around since I was a teen in the 80′s and are still used the same way (cool!) but, well, some aren’t. Stick to more generic or ubiquitious slag and avoid anything too trendy.

Technology
If your teen characters don’t have a cell phone, you might be pushing 40.

Or your character is broke or has strict parents. This ones a little tougher to make stick but take a look at the technology around you. I had to explain what a B-side is to The Boy a few weeks ago. My husband’s family sent ALL his report cards in the mail to him a few days ago. We spent the afternoon laughing about the comments from his teacher when computers were first available in the classroom. The Boy had his very own netbook to use all this year. The Boy doesn’t remember a time when people couldn’t look stuff up on the Internet. I still remember the first time The Husband and I saw our first URL on a commercial (www.toyota.com by the way). The Boy has no idea what it’s like to watch live TV and have to wait for the commercials to pee.

Technology has changed A LOT since you were a kid, and it doesn’t even matter how old you are. Will your character use a tape recorder or a voice memo on his phone? Will your character make her boyfriend a mix tape? Or e-mail him a playlist? Will your character call her mom from the school office phone for a pickup or text her using her own cell?

Take a look at your draft and make sure all your choices are relevant to today’s teens. The feelings and emotions you had when you were younger are relevant. The Debbie Gibson hat you wore to school picture day is not.